Computer Quotes And Sayings

1] "Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music." -- Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989

2] Microsoft: "You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips."

3] Sexy Unix Commands: date; unzip; touch; strip; finger; mount; gasp; yes; uptime;

4] Sex is like hacking. You get in, you get out, and you hope you didn't leave something behind that can be traced back to you.

5] That Jesus Christ guy is getting some terrible lag... it took him 3 days to respawn!

6] Want to Make $$$$ with your Computer? No Risk! Simply press shift-4 four times in a row

7] My programs never have bugs, they just develop random features.

8] Failure is not an option -- it comes bundled with Windows.

9] windows: 32-bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16-bit patch to an 8-bit operating system originally coded for a 4-bit microprocessor, written by a 2-bit company that can't stand 1-bit of competition

10] Error! Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.

11] Press any key except... no, No, NO, NOT THAT ONE!

12] Real programmers don't comment! It was hard to write, It should be hard to read!

13] Who's General Failure & why is he reading my disk?

14] "I worry about my child and the Internet all the time, even though she's too young to have logged on yet. Here's what I worry about. I worry that 10 or 15 years from now, she will come to me and say 'Daddy, where were you when they took freedom of the press away from the Internet?'" --Mike Godwin, Electronic Frontier Foundation

15] The box said "Requires Windows 95 or better." I can't understand why it won't work on my Linux computer.

16] MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs

17] RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure!

18] MICROSOFT = Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers

19] I haven't lost my mind -- it's backed up on tape somewhere.

20] ISDN = It Still Does Nothing.

Clever Sayings And Quotes

__People who pretend to be bad are better than those who pretend to be good. 

__It's Been My Experience That The People Who Ask The LORD To Guide Their Footsteps Are The Very Same Ones Who Aren't Willing To Move Their Feet.

1] Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

2] The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.

3] Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

4] Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.

5] War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.

6] It's your god. They're your rules. *You* go to hell.

7] I once prayed to god for a bike, but quickly found out he didnt work that way...so I stole a bike and prayed for his forgiveness

8] If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?

9] My god carries a hammer. Your god died nailed to a tree. Any questions?

10] Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.

11] If you think things can't get worse it's probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.

12] A train station is where the train stops. A bus station is where the bus stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
.
13] You can't be late until you show up.

14] Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way, wisdom is looking both directions anyway

15] Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

16] Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.

17] A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.

18] The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources

19] books have knowledge, knowledge is power, power corrupts, corruption is a crime, and crime doesn't pay..so if you keep reading, you'll go broke

20] Advice for the day: If you have a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two, and KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN.

Best Friendship quotes And Sayings On The Internet..

1] A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

2] There comes a point in your life when you realize who really matters, who never did, and who always will.

3] A friend is someone who can see the truth and pain in you even when you are fooling everyone else.

4] If you're alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder. If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow. If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile... But anytime you need a friend, I'll just be me.

5] Never explain yourself. Your friends dont need it and your enemies wont believe it.

6] Friendship isn't about whom you have known the longest... It's about who came, and never left your side...

7] If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn't jump with them, I'd be at the bottom to catch them

8] A true friend sees the first tear... catches the second... and stops the third

9] Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say.

10] Another month. Another year.
Another smile another tear.
Another winter and another summer too
But there can never be another you.

11] When it hurts to look back, and you're afraid to look ahead, you can look beside you and your best friend will be there.

12] Its really amazing when two strangers become the best of friends, but it's really sad when the best of friends become two strangers.

13] Friends are like a good bra, supportive, hard to find, and always close to your heart!

14] Anyone can make you smile or cry
But it takes someone special to make you smile
When you already have tears in your eyes

15] The only reason god didnt make us sisters is because one mom couldn't handle us both.

16] As people grow up, they realize it becomes less important to have more friends, and more important to have real ones.

17] A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend pees their pants laughing, trips you again, and calls you an a**hole.

18] Wanna see who your real friends are? Screw up and see who's still there

19] Friends are like stars, they come and go, but the ones that stay are the ones that glow

20] The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.

best love quotes and sayings on the internet...

__When trying to burn memories, old love letters make good kindling.

1] We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.

2] Have you ever wondered which hurts the most: saying something and wishing you had not, or saying nothing, and wishing you had?

3] Sometimes people put up walls, not to keep others out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.

4] Don't say you love me unless you really mean it, because I might do something crazy like believe it.

5] If I could be any part of you, I'd be your tears. To be conceived in your heart, born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips.

6] It's amazing how someone can break your heart, but you still love them with all the little pieces.

7] If I could give you one thing in life, I would give you the ability to see yourself through my eyes, only then would you realize how special you are to me...

8] Love is giving someone the power to destroy you...but trusting them not to.

9] Should I smile because we are friends? Or cry because we'll never be anything more?

10] if you cant get someone off your mind they are probably supposed to be there

11] You know you're in love when you don't wanna go to sleep at night because your life is better than a dream.

12] The worst feeling you'll ever feel is sitting next to the person who means the world to you knowing that you mean nothing to them

13] When I first saw you, I was afraid to talk to you.
    When I first talked to you, I was afraid to like you.
    When I first liked you, I was afraid to love you.
    Now that I love you, I'm afraid to lose you.

14] Nobody is worth your tears, and the one who is won't make you cry.

15] you never really stop loving someone. you just learn to try to live without them

16] If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it's yours. If it does not come back, it was never meant to be.

17] To the world you may be but one, but to one you might be the world.

18] I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.

19] Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.

20] Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.

Best Inspiration Quotes and Sayings on the Internet

__Learn to be alone and to like it. There's nothing more freeing and empowering than learning to like your own company.

1] Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.

2] A champion is someone who gets up, even when he can't.

3] What you are is God's gift to you; what you make of yourself is your gift to God.

4] Take risks: If you win, you will be happy; if you lose, you will be wise.

5] When you want something you've never had, you have to do something you've never done.

6] Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal

7] You don't drown by falling in water. You drown by staying there

8] The people who laugh at you probably admire you the most.

9] Only in the darkness , you are able to see the stars.

10] You were not born a winner, and you were not born a loser. You are what you make yourself be.

11] Some times you have to fall from the mountain to realise what you are climbing for.

12] It's not what you know, it's what you do with what you know.

13] It is not wanting to win that makes you a winner; it is refusing to fail.

14] If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.

15] I look up to the people who keep on dancing even after the music has stopped, because those are the people who will keep on trying even after all hope is lost.

16] A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.

17] Only dead fish go with the current.

18] There are two kinds of people, those that do the work and those that take the credit. Try to be in the first group, there is less competition there.

19] If something is not happening for you, it doesn't mean it's never going to happen. It means you're not ready for it.

20] Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it.

Collection of best humor quotes and sayings on internet.

1) People that don't know me think I'm shy.
   People that do know me wish I were.

2] Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?

3] 'Tis far better to be pissed off than to be pissed on.

4] Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.

5] A kiss blown is a kiss wasted...the only real kind of kiss is a kiss tasted

6] Don't follow me, I am lost too!

7] Womans Prayer:
   Dear Lord,
   I pray for wisdom to understand a man. love to forgive him and patience for his moods.
   Because Lord, if I pray for strength i'll just beat him to death.

8] They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help.
   If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

9] I'm outta here like a deaf kid in a game of musical chairs.

10] Love your enemies...they hate it

11] i stopped listening..so why don't you stop talking??

12] Your so ugly that if you entered an ugly competition they'd say sorry no professionals.

13] To catch me, you gotta be fast. To find me, you gotta be smart. To be me?? Sh*t! You gotta be kidding!

14] what's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives girls crazy?.......................................................................... MONEY!!!

15] Let's discuss right and left. You're RIGHT. I LEFT.

16] Birdie, birdie, in the sky, why'd you do that in my eye? Looks like sugar, tastes like sap. OMG! IT'S BIRDIE CRAP!"

17] My door is always open for YOU...
    so feel free to leave!

18] Why don't you go outside and play hide and go f*** yourself?

19] What are the three fastest ways of communication? 
    Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman.

20] I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other, and when I am alone I am together.