1] "Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music." -- Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989
2] Microsoft: "You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips."
3] Sexy Unix Commands: date; unzip; touch; strip; finger; mount; gasp; yes; uptime;
4] Sex is like hacking. You get in, you get out, and you hope you didn't leave something behind that can be traced back to you.
5] That Jesus Christ guy is getting some terrible lag... it took him 3 days to respawn!
6] Want to Make $$$$ with your Computer? No Risk! Simply press shift-4 four times in a row
7] My programs never have bugs, they just develop random features.
8] Failure is not an option -- it comes bundled with Windows.
9] windows: 32-bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16-bit patch to an 8-bit operating system originally coded for a 4-bit microprocessor, written by a 2-bit company that can't stand 1-bit of competition
10] Error! Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.
11] Press any key except... no, No, NO, NOT THAT ONE!
12] Real programmers don't comment! It was hard to write, It should be hard to read!
13] Who's General Failure & why is he reading my disk?
14] "I worry about my child and the Internet all the time, even though she's too young to have logged on yet. Here's what I worry about. I worry that 10 or 15 years from now, she will come to me and say 'Daddy, where were you when they took freedom of the press away from the Internet?'" --Mike Godwin, Electronic Frontier Foundation
15] The box said "Requires Windows 95 or better." I can't understand why it won't work on my Linux computer.
16] MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs
17] RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure!
18] MICROSOFT = Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
19] I haven't lost my mind -- it's backed up on tape somewhere.
20] ISDN = It Still Does Nothing.
21] Windows VirusScan 1.0 - "Windows found: Remove it? (Y/N)
22] Windows has detected a mouse movement. Please restart Windows so changes can take effect.
23] Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...
24] A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
25] Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User.
26] Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. -- Pablo Picasso
27] What is this talk of 'release?' Klingons do not make software 'releases.' Our software 'escapes,' leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake.
28] The world is coming to an end. Please log off.
29] Linux is like a teepee: no windows; no gates; Apache inside
30] If it happens once, it's a bug. If it happens twice, it's a feature. If it happens more than twice, it's a design philosophy.
31] 63,000 bugs in the code, 63,000 bugs, ya get 1 whacked with a service pack, now there's 63,005 bugs in the code!!
32] I pledge allegiance to the internet and to the principle of end-to-end connectivity for which it stands. One network, under construction, with liberty and access for all.
33] Late to bed and early to rise gives a hacker blood-shot eyes.
34] PENTIUM = Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of Mathmatics
35] A thousand words are worth a picture, and they load a heck of a lot faster.
36] BREAKFAST.COM Halted... Cereal Port Not Responding
37] Gates' Law: Every 18 months, the speed of software halves.
38] CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C.?(Y/N)
39] Smash forehead on keyboard to continue...
40] Microsoft Zen - Become one with the blue screen.
41] Windows 2000: Designed for the Internet. The Internet: Designed for UNIX.
42] A beowulf cluster of Cisco routers? Isn't that the Internet?
43] :-) = I am happy - :^) = I am happy with my big nose - C:\> = I am happy with my OS
44] Mosher's Law of Software Engineering: Don't worry if it doesn't work right. If everything did, you'd be out of a job.
45] WINDOWS = Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
46] I refuse to forfeit my freedoms for a little security- I login as root every time!
47] Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)
48] I don't need to go outside, my CRT tan'll do me just fine.
49] Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay..
50] MCSE == Mentally Challenged Slave of the Empire.
51] "Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute for life." - Andrew Brown
52] Network: An electronic means of allowing more than one person at a time to corrupt, trash, and otherwise cause permanent damage to useful information.
53] Linux: Where do you want to GO... Oh, wait, I'm already there!
54] Microsoft Rule #3: GUI standards are no longer necessary. Shiny objects are always user-friendly.
55] Three things are certain: Death, taxes, and lost data. Guess which has occurred.
56] COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key
57] Double your disk space - delete Windows!
58] Did you know that..Some Dreamcast games use Microsoft's Windows CE as their operating system!
59] Open Source is the guillotine, Linux is the blade; IBM gives it weight and Apple sharpens it.
60] Hidden DOS secret: Add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS
61] PCMCIA: People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
62] APPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
63] 11th commandment - Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium Pro.
64] "Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes." -E. W. Dijkstra
65] All of my errors and spelling mistakes are the fault of Microsoft, and their buggy keyboard handling in the OS.
66] Try to remove the color-problem by restarting your computer several times. -- Microsoft-Internet Explorer README.TXT
67] .vbs = Virus Bearing Script?
68] SCSI: System Can't See It
69] For too long, power has been concentrated in the hands of "root" and his "wheel" oligarchy. From now on, all admin functions will be handled by the People's Committee for Democratically Organizing the System (PC-DOS)
70] Bushnell's Underdog Theory: "Anything can manage a 10% share against Microsoft, no matter how absurd its problems."
71] Most Linux documentation is like driving directions that have been written in alphabetical order by street name: although technically all of the information is there, to sift through it you need either plenty of practice, or plenty of time.
72] BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!
73] OS/2 = Obsolete Soon Too
74] NAPSTER = No longer A Possible Solution To Escape Record-buying
75] Q: What's the difference between a car salesman and a computer salesman? A: The car salesman can probably drive!
76] LISP = Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parenthesis
77] AMIGA = A Merely Insignificant Gamers Addictiction
78] WinErr 16547: LPT1 not found. Use backup. (PENCIL & PAPER.SYS)
79] Hard Disk: A device that allows users to delete vast quantities of data with simple mnemonic commands.
80] You step in the stream, but the water has moved on. This page is not here. (404)
81] BASIC: Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control
82] CD-ROM = Consumer Device-Rendered Obsolete in Months
2] Microsoft: "You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips."
3] Sexy Unix Commands: date; unzip; touch; strip; finger; mount; gasp; yes; uptime;
4] Sex is like hacking. You get in, you get out, and you hope you didn't leave something behind that can be traced back to you.
5] That Jesus Christ guy is getting some terrible lag... it took him 3 days to respawn!
6] Want to Make $$$$ with your Computer? No Risk! Simply press shift-4 four times in a row
7] My programs never have bugs, they just develop random features.
8] Failure is not an option -- it comes bundled with Windows.
9] windows: 32-bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16-bit patch to an 8-bit operating system originally coded for a 4-bit microprocessor, written by a 2-bit company that can't stand 1-bit of competition
10] Error! Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.
11] Press any key except... no, No, NO, NOT THAT ONE!
12] Real programmers don't comment! It was hard to write, It should be hard to read!
13] Who's General Failure & why is he reading my disk?
14] "I worry about my child and the Internet all the time, even though she's too young to have logged on yet. Here's what I worry about. I worry that 10 or 15 years from now, she will come to me and say 'Daddy, where were you when they took freedom of the press away from the Internet?'" --Mike Godwin, Electronic Frontier Foundation
15] The box said "Requires Windows 95 or better." I can't understand why it won't work on my Linux computer.
16] MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs
17] RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure!
18] MICROSOFT = Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
19] I haven't lost my mind -- it's backed up on tape somewhere.
20] ISDN = It Still Does Nothing.
21] Windows VirusScan 1.0 - "Windows found: Remove it? (Y/N)
22] Windows has detected a mouse movement. Please restart Windows so changes can take effect.
23] Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...
24] A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
25] Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User.
26] Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. -- Pablo Picasso
27] What is this talk of 'release?' Klingons do not make software 'releases.' Our software 'escapes,' leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake.
28] The world is coming to an end. Please log off.
29] Linux is like a teepee: no windows; no gates; Apache inside
30] If it happens once, it's a bug. If it happens twice, it's a feature. If it happens more than twice, it's a design philosophy.
31] 63,000 bugs in the code, 63,000 bugs, ya get 1 whacked with a service pack, now there's 63,005 bugs in the code!!
32] I pledge allegiance to the internet and to the principle of end-to-end connectivity for which it stands. One network, under construction, with liberty and access for all.
33] Late to bed and early to rise gives a hacker blood-shot eyes.
34] PENTIUM = Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of Mathmatics
35] A thousand words are worth a picture, and they load a heck of a lot faster.
36] BREAKFAST.COM Halted... Cereal Port Not Responding
37] Gates' Law: Every 18 months, the speed of software halves.
38] CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C.?(Y/N)
39] Smash forehead on keyboard to continue...
40] Microsoft Zen - Become one with the blue screen.
41] Windows 2000: Designed for the Internet. The Internet: Designed for UNIX.
42] A beowulf cluster of Cisco routers? Isn't that the Internet?
43] :-) = I am happy - :^) = I am happy with my big nose - C:\> = I am happy with my OS
44] Mosher's Law of Software Engineering: Don't worry if it doesn't work right. If everything did, you'd be out of a job.
45] WINDOWS = Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
46] I refuse to forfeit my freedoms for a little security- I login as root every time!
47] Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)
48] I don't need to go outside, my CRT tan'll do me just fine.
49] Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay..
50] MCSE == Mentally Challenged Slave of the Empire.
51] "Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute for life." - Andrew Brown
52] Network: An electronic means of allowing more than one person at a time to corrupt, trash, and otherwise cause permanent damage to useful information.
53] Linux: Where do you want to GO... Oh, wait, I'm already there!
54] Microsoft Rule #3: GUI standards are no longer necessary. Shiny objects are always user-friendly.
55] Three things are certain: Death, taxes, and lost data. Guess which has occurred.
56] COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key
57] Double your disk space - delete Windows!
58] Did you know that..Some Dreamcast games use Microsoft's Windows CE as their operating system!
59] Open Source is the guillotine, Linux is the blade; IBM gives it weight and Apple sharpens it.
60] Hidden DOS secret: Add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS
61] PCMCIA: People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
62] APPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
63] 11th commandment - Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium Pro.
64] "Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes." -E. W. Dijkstra
65] All of my errors and spelling mistakes are the fault of Microsoft, and their buggy keyboard handling in the OS.
66] Try to remove the color-problem by restarting your computer several times. -- Microsoft-Internet Explorer README.TXT
67] .vbs = Virus Bearing Script?
68] SCSI: System Can't See It
69] For too long, power has been concentrated in the hands of "root" and his "wheel" oligarchy. From now on, all admin functions will be handled by the People's Committee for Democratically Organizing the System (PC-DOS)
70] Bushnell's Underdog Theory: "Anything can manage a 10% share against Microsoft, no matter how absurd its problems."
71] Most Linux documentation is like driving directions that have been written in alphabetical order by street name: although technically all of the information is there, to sift through it you need either plenty of practice, or plenty of time.
72] BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!
73] OS/2 = Obsolete Soon Too
74] NAPSTER = No longer A Possible Solution To Escape Record-buying
75] Q: What's the difference between a car salesman and a computer salesman? A: The car salesman can probably drive!
76] LISP = Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parenthesis
77] AMIGA = A Merely Insignificant Gamers Addictiction
78] WinErr 16547: LPT1 not found. Use backup. (PENCIL & PAPER.SYS)
79] Hard Disk: A device that allows users to delete vast quantities of data with simple mnemonic commands.
80] You step in the stream, but the water has moved on. This page is not here. (404)
81] BASIC: Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control
82] CD-ROM = Consumer Device-Rendered Obsolete in Months
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